Michele Bolitho, Self-Understanding and Everyday Spirituality
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Should I try to kill my ego?

This blogpost explores the nature of ego and the nature of spirit. It introduces a splendid new concept you may really enjoy - Ego amo

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Have you learned that your ego is not the real you?

Have you learned that your ego is an illusion? That it’s not ‘the real you’?

In your desire to become ‘more spiritual’, have you learned that you must try to eradicate this illusion?

And if you want to be ‘your authentic self’, must you work at denying the existence of this shallow, image-conscious and self-centred ‘sham you’?

For people who intentionally walk a spiritual path, these are popular beliefs.

Your ego is the target you aim to kill off.

If you destroy your ego, what will you have left? Well, you may have your pure authentic spiritual being, but how’s it going to interact in our world?

Rather than think of your ego as an illusion, how about seeing it as a creation? How about seeing your ego as a brilliant unique creation? Your makeup is the ‘you’ that you’ve made up.

Your ego is the character you’ve created for your self.

Your ego is your self, and yes, it is something you’ve made up. In that sense, it’s illusory. It’s impermanent. One of the ego’s useful characteristics is that it can experience split-second changes. It responds to the moment.

We make ourselves up from all the input we’ve been given by the world we’ve be born into. Minute to minute, this creation undergoes change, according to influences from inside ourselves and also impressions that come in for processing, from the outside world.

Your ego is dynamic. It’s a dynamic expression of you. (How wonderful is that?!)

What am I? What’s I am?

In its authenticity as a form of self-expression, your ego has total validity.


In its authenticity as a form of self-expression, your ego has total validity.

In its authenticity as a form of self-expression, your ego has total validity.  There’s no way it can be wrong. It can’t be false. It’s you expressing you. It’s your character. It’s your persona. It’s your personality.

I am is my being in self-expression. I am the creation I have made of myself with the infinite creativity that is the essence of my being.

Your being is a unit within unity

Your being is a unit within unity. We are all of the All.

As such, your being has no boundary to define itself with, where de-fine comes from Latin fin for end or edge. To create a separate being, you’ll have to make one. (But beware of getting limited in your thinking by the concept of being separate from the all, and therefore feeling forced to struggle in order to ‘go it alone’.)


Your ego is your virtual vehicle for your infinite being to travel as a unique and seemingly separate entity throughout daily life.

Your ego is your virtual vehicle for your infinite being to travel as a unique and seemingly separate entity throughout daily life.

Coming from in, which here means not, and fin, infinite means edgeless and endless. That which is edgeless and endless cannot be defined.

Essentially then, there can be no that which is edgeless and endless in our understanding. We can’t comprehend the infinite with our human minds, consequently, if we want to understand, we need concepts of ‘finity’ to work with. We need virtual ends and edges to define our individual ‘selves’ with.

Comprehend, from Latin com, meaning with and prehendere - to seize or grasp, is literally get a grasp on. For us to 'get a grasp', in our search for understanding of ourselves, we need finite concepts that we can hold in mind, ‘get a good handle on’ and work with. This is where the concept of ego conveniently comes in.

Ego is simply Latin I am. With our egos, we present and re-present our being in every present moment.

If you did manage to destroy your ego ...

If you did manage to destroy your ego, you would destroy your self. You’d have no more means of self-expression in a finite form.

But what part of you would be doing the destroying? Your spirit? This is not likely. Your spirit comprises pure love. It’s not in the nature of pure love to destroy.

So, if you plan to erase ‘the illusion’ that you’ve been taught your ego is, you’ll likely find it endlessly difficult to achieve this popular ‘spiritual’ goal. (But you’ve never expected ‘being more spiritual’ to be easy, anyway. Right?)

You have another option here

You have another option here. Each person’s life is a personal projection. We see life through our own eyes, no-one else’s. How we view our ego is actually our choice.

We can view our ego as a dominating ‘monster’ that’s too ‘puffed-up’ and self-centric ‘for its own good’. (Or on the other hand, that’s too self-negating and belittling for its own good.)

We can view our ego as a brilliant, purpose-built creation which expresses exactly who we think we are.

We can view our ego as a brilliant, purpose-built creation which expresses exactly who we think we are.

We can label our egoself as an illusion that has no real truth to it, that’s always attempting to deceive. Or we can view our ego as a brilliant purpose-built creation, which out-pictures, or ex-presses into the shared reality that is the world we live in, exactly who we think we are.

The expression I've created that's my self

We've put great creative power into setting up our ego for ourselves, or forming the unique character which we play our parts through, as we act, react and interact in the daily game of life. When we can sense for ourselves, the power that we’ve put into setting up our ego, we can be loving and appreciative about our own self-expression.

Being loving, the thought of trying to kill our ego won’t come to mind. It simply won’t resonate with the loving thoughts that we have about our self, our egoself, our persona.

Our persona represents in today's world, the I am that's our infinite being. In a pure and loving heart, murderous feelings about our persona, simply won’t be generated.

Amare is Latin to love. Here’s a new mantra you may really enjoy:

Ego amoI love being me.

Your ego is your virtual vehicle for your infinite being to travel as a unique and seemingly separate entity throughout daily life.

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About the Author Michele Bolitho

I'm a writer and speaker (more info coming soon)

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